There I was walking my dog in the woods...
...when I came across a small glade.
There was a huge flock of wood pigeons there, pigeoning around (like they do).
So I tied up my quite manic dog, and crept closer to watch them for a while, only they saw me and waddled away, and I noticed that they were strangely reluctant to fly.

Me being a b3tan and all, I decided to try and 'herd' them, like sheep (although I have never herded anything else, ever.)
Things were going well, I was getting them into a nice formation, when an insane squirrel for some reason took offence, and ran across the grass and started edging towards me, menacing like (must have been a Daily Hate Mail reader)!

Me being a soft city-dweller, this commando tree-climber taking me on was enough to unnerve me quite effectively, so I scarpered.
I went and untied my dog and let him off the lead.

Said Mr. Dead-Hard squirrel got chased up the tree, with me cackling maniacally at my victory (and getting by dog back on the lead before he bored of the tree and went after the pigeons.)

The pigeons took no fucking notice whatsoever of all this, which just goes to confirm - well - everything.
( Lord Keeps meaning to procrastinate., Thu 2 Jun 2005, 14:58, Reply)