Squirrels may look cute
but they are the spawn of satan.

When my nan was in her last few months, she spent some time in a care home. And in the back garden of this carehome were some of the tamest squirrels you ever did see. The home even sold little packets of nuts so the oldies and their relatives could feed them together.

Now I was only little (I think I was twelve) and my dad was having a serious convo with my nan, so I was told to go outside and play with the squirrels. I was sat there mildly entertained with the cuddly ickle things when one decided that it would come a bit closer. And a bit closer. Eventually it came and sat on my knee. I was just sat there in wonder at this cute little animal when it decided to sink its evil bastard fangs into my arm.

Cue me spinning round in circles trying to get it off me, while it hung on for dear life using nothing but its teeth. By god it had a grip, I had nearly shat myself by the time it went flying off.

Luckily for me I was wearing the thickest coat in the known universe at the time, so I didn't sustain any major injuries. But I have been convinced that shy, evasive red squirrels are far lullier than these nasty grey types.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 3 Jun 2005, 0:10, Reply)