Not normally cruel to animals but...
...like everyone/thing else, they reap what they sow. This happened when I was about 12, walking home from some wasteground where me and my mates used to knock empty cans off of things with our catapults. We had a bit of a fad for them back then, and these were proper manufactured models (anybody remember the Black Widow?), though me and my mates shot at inanimate objects like cans and stuff rather than the windows, wildlife, OAPs and domestic pets that some of the bigger (i.e. more malevolent and stupid) lads favoured as targets.

Anyway, my mates had broken off to go to thier respective houses for thier tea and while I was making the final solo journey to my own dinner table, some scruffy mutt jumped out from behind a corner in a fence and sunk its teeth into my thigh, uncomfortably close to my meat and two. Luckily for me, my folded-up catapult was in my pocket so the mangy bastard got a mouthful of jeanscloth and catapult instead of the young flesh it was aiming for.

It didn't seem to mind though, and after doing that doggy head-shake thing that they do when they have things in thier jaws, it disengaged and sauntered off with this 'I'm the king, me' swagger. Fairly nonplussed by this, I decided that the four-legged fucker needed to learn its place in the food chain, so I unfolded my catapult and planted one of the pebbles I was still carrying on its cocky mongrel arse. Suffice to say that the swagger was abruptly replaced with a highly comical attempt to scarper with its arse as close to the floor as possible whilst maintaining a decent turn of speed. I wished at the time that my mates had been there - that shot was a blinder :D

My length is none of your business, and I resent you speculating upon it.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Fri 3 Jun 2005, 12:53, Reply)