Pidgeons and budgies, and ants...
Not all at once though...

When younger, my parents would take us camping in the new forest, here I was attacked many times by wood ants. When you're grown up you can just go 'ow' a bit and pick them off, but as a five year old I panicked and ended up covered head to toe inthe fuckers screaming like a mong on acid.

Anyhow, this other family that also went, their dad was a right helmet, one day they came to our house. My sister had a budgie which she would let out to fly around the sun-lounge. WHen this guy dame round we had to hide the budgie upstairs, as he had recently been driving along on his (presumably gay) motorbike (wearing leathers, aviators and a big moustache) when he had been hit in the chest by a pidgeon, leaving him with a morbid fear of anything avine, including... budgies

I repeat: Budgies

I'm not sure if you've ever seen or met a budgie but in the grand scheme of things they are hardly the most dangerous or terrifying animals, being as they are, largely quite diminuitive and mostly interested in eating millet and trill, they are not even omnivorous, much less carnivorous.

Christ that bloke was a steaming arse-candle.


THUR-THUR-THUR
( Liquid Crystal, Fri 3 Jun 2005, 13:29, Reply)