b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » When animals attack... » Post 32958 | Search
This is a question When animals attack...

I once, accidentally, punched a racoon.

It had wandered into my tent, I was half asleep and thought it was a mate pratting around. There was a yelp and then all hell broke loose.

What have you been attacked by?

(, Thu 2 Jun 2005, 9:39)
Pages: Latest, 21, 20, 19, 18, 17, ... 1

« Go Back

Urination procrastination and inflammation information
So I was watching television while getting ready for bed (I forget what programme). I needed the loo slightly, but the programme was on the BBC, so had no pissbreaks. Just as it was finishing I put 'Now and Next' on teletext and saw that I'd just missed the start of a programme I really wanted to see, so I switched over and start watching that.

The second programme was also on the BBC, by the time it got to within ten minutes of ending my bladder was screaming at me. By five minutes to the credits, I'd started pacing around my room in an agitated manner to help me try and hold it in (I don't know why this helps, but it does).

Since I was ready for bed, I was at this point barefoot. Mere minutes before the programme ends, I placed my foot forward and instead of being greeted by a sturdy floor it instead met tremendous pain. I looked down to see a huge bumblebee sitting on my floor. I'd jerked my leg back so fast I hadn't even crushed it (though obviously it would die soon having stung me). I'd somehow miraculously managed to not piss myself in all this, but hopping around my room with a full bladder was no picnic either. What was really concerning me was the effect the sting was having on my foot. Now, I'd been stung by bees and wasps a few times before, and it hurt but wasn't particularly painful. This sting however, was not only very painful but also seemed to be spreading across my foot and up to my ankle. This worried me enough to abandon the tail end of my TV programme, however before I did anything about my sting I absolutely had to pee.

By the time I'd hopped to the toilet and relieved myself (you know how you walk funny when you really need the loo, imagine what I looked like hopping it), the lower half of my left leg had begun to go numb.

I finally made it downstairs to the kitchen (where our medicine cupboard was) to deal with my sting (which had now made a worryingly large area of my foot quite red), and to resolve never to delay emptying my bladder again for the sake of a few minuteds of television.

I suppose I could have killed two birds with one stone by simply pissing on my foot.
(, Sat 4 Jun 2005, 16:00, Reply)

« Go Back

Pages: Latest, 21, 20, 19, 18, 17, ... 1