Timing deaf
Newton's lesser known fourth law is that the more tone deaf one is the louder one must sing gratingly out of tune to Magic FM at 6:30am when one's partner does not have to get up for another hour.

This is a situation I imagine most people here will have been in (on one side or the other) at some point in their lives. Personally I have now built up quite a relatively strong immunity and it doesn't really bother me that much anymore.

My missus however has taken this to a whole new level. She is what I have christened 'timing deaf'. This is a remarkable skill whereby she will, without fail, start singing at least one note too early for EVERY, and I do mean EVERY, song which comes on the radio no matter whether she likes it, hates it, has heard it 50 times before or just once, no matter the genre. It's not even just at the start of the song - she does it every time there's a pause for longer than a bar.

What takes it from mild annoyance to ripping the hair off my arse and shoving it in my ears to block it out is the fact that there's no pattern to it. Sometimes she's a bar early, sometimes just one note - one time she started singing the closing refrain to Hey Jude while it was still in the middle of the first sodding verse!

Apparently she does it at work too and they find it cute.
(Milo Minderbinder, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 19:53, 1 reply)

Even better
To annoy people properly, if you can sing just sing or whistle the whole song one single note above where it should be. Drives people nuts.

I am an irritation.
( Hunter Stockton was murdered by a bicycle wielding axolotl,.,.,.,., Fri 5 Aug 2011, 11:16, closed)