Or do what I did.
Have your wife leave you unexpectedly so you can wank and cry as much as you like in bed on a comfy-ish sea of crusty tissues, with laptop porn windows that wake up when you do the following lunchtime, or when the old people who volunteer at the clinic come round to make sure you aren't swinging lifelessly from a sturdy hook in your bathroom.
(judgetheobscure used to sweep in butchers' shops., Fri 15 Jun 2012, 0:29, 1 reply)

I thought about the advantages of this, but decided against it as I'd always have to make my own cups of tea

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 2:52, closed)