The Bank That Likes To Say Yes

Many moons ago a bunch of fuckwits robbed the TSB bank in Alnwick. It's a famous tale, in Northumberland, mainly ofr the jaw-dropping buffoonary of the robbers.

It started off OK. 3 guys wearing stockings for masks burst into the bank and threatened the cashiers with a shot gun (Note: 1 gun between three of them) and demanded all the money in the bank. The chief cashier, noting that these guys didn't seem the sharpest knives in the rack, told them that the vault was locked (it wasn't) and that all the cash drawers were empty (they weren't) but they were welcome to take these bags of coins that were on the back counter. So they did and legged it back to their getaway van which roared off into the distance.

The robbers thought they'd made a pretty good score. Almost 5 grand in 50p coins and they headed home to ditch the masks and the gun and divvy up the loot.

So that night they were all in the local pub, buying rounds for everyone (and paying in 50p coins) and were singing at the tops of their voices:

"TSB - The Bank That Likes To Say Yes"

Bear in mind that this was about 50 yards away from the bank they'd robbed.

To compound their fuckwittery, the girlfriend turned up at the local co-op the next day and bough a new telly, washing machine and microwave and paid for it with 50p pieces.

An hour later the cops turned up at the door and nicked the lot of them. A quick search discovered the gun and the masks which had been cunningly hidden by stuffing everything into a bin bag and heaving it over the fence into a filed next door.

When they were nicked the leader looked up at the copper who was handcuffing him and asked:

"How did you know it was us? Who squealed?"

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 17 Jul 2009, 7:43, Reply)