Mince pies!
Not really a tale of woe, but how I chose my first bank.
Banks are evil, we all know this, some may be slightly less evil than others but really they know you have to give them your money and in fairness I would probably abuse this position if I had it.

So having come to this conclusion fairly early on in life when it was time to open my first bank account back in the day I thought I would do some research into which of the three local banks was the slightly less evil, so off I toddle around town to pick up some of those leaflets explaining why each bank is the best and how they can cure aids and cancer and stop all paedophiles etc. while the small print shows how they will take the shirt off your back.

Now when I did this it was just before Christmas, and me living in a town very reliant on tourist based income it was very quiet out and I could take my time, so I wander into my first port of call, HSBC which was unsurprisingly deserted, and ask for the lady behind the desk for the relevant bits of paper, and wander back out. So far so normal.

Now the next bank on my stroll was Farkleys, and upon entering I espied a large jar of sweets on the counter (Quality street I think) and when requesting more of the leaflets questioned the woman behind the desk (I swear there are no people of the male persuasion working at any of the banks round here) as to their reason for being there and was told they were a christmas treat for customers, but to help myself so I promptly stuffed a few in my pocket and made my way to my final port of call, Shatwest.

Entering this final bank there were more tasty goodies on the counter, but something much better than some poor sweets in a jar, for here in all their delicious goodness was several plates of both mince pies and sausage rolls which I recognized from a particularly fine bakery round the corner (Which I should do, my parents own the damn place)and unable to contain my glee grabbed a few with my next load of advertising from the lovely lady behind the counter.

So it was in a thoughtful mood that I made my way to the coffee shop, munching on a fine sausage roll, where I planned to spend time reading the paperwork from all the banks and make an informed decision about which would be the best for me. However, sitting down with my coffee and looking through this fairly hefty sheaf of papers before me I realised the bank I most wanted to be with is the one which gave out the best free food, and promptly went and signed up with Shatwest, where I have happily been ever since.

(P.S. Some may question the fact that the free food was in fact made by my parents bakery, and I in theory I could get as much of the stuff as I wanted for free at any time of the year. My response would be 'Bollocks to the lot of ya').
( Fezzett This post may contain elements of sarcasm, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 13:10, Reply)