I used to work at a driving school...
I basically functioned as a receptionist, but it meant that if the instructors came in (either they were picking up a pupil here, taking a tea break, or they needed to go for a dump), they would sit down and talk to me. I was there when the manager interviewed one - let's call him 'A' - for a job with our school.

'A' did most of the talking. When the manager asked him a question, his usual response was "Well, let me tell you a story..." and then he'd drone on and bloody on with some story which was usually connected with the time he worked as a fireman.

His first day was in the summer. Warm weather, ergo most of the instructors are driving around in shorts and t-shirts*. Then 'A' pulls up outside the office. Through his car window I see a shirt and tie.
"Fair enough," thinks I, "he's taking this a bit seriously, but he is new..."

Then he gets out of the car, revealing that is lower half is adorned with a very short pair of lime green shorts and an equally hideous pair of trainers. Picture, if you will, a grey-haired man in a smart shirt, tie, green shorts and green trainers.

And he has taken himself far too seriously. His missus works as a teacher of sorts, so he likes to use phrases like: "Because my wife and I are both in the teaching profession..."

You're a driving instructor. Sure, it involves teaching people, but to call it "a teaching profession" is getting a little lofty, isn't it? You're a fucking driving instructor.

He also changed his name by deed poll. It would be unfair of me to identify him this way, but he had a perfectly reasonable name to start with, and changed it to something utterly fucking ridiculous. All I'll say is that this form changed his middle name to Cornelius.

And pupils have actually phoned us to complain that he never seems to teach them: in an hour's lesson, he's likely to spend 30-odd minutes talking at them. Probably about the time he was in the fire brigade. Perhaps he ought to go back to the cocking fire brigade and spend a bit more time polishing his helmet.

_{*And a car, obviously}

Apologies for length - it's still shorter than a conversation with that pillock.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 13:49, 1 reply)

oh my word
your footnote made me nearly die.
I salute you.
( Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 15:53, closed)