Pasta with tomato sauce.
About 4 years ago, we'd just moved into new office space and were taking delivery of new gym equipment for the spare office (my boss liked lifting iron).
The only two people in the building that day were myself and the receptionist.
I was in the back, and I heard the delivery guy and Valerie was dealing with him. All of a sudden, she screamed and came running into the back saying "he's cut himself".
I said to her to calm down, get some papertowels and I'd be right there.

So off I toddle to the front, and delivery guy is outside the door.....you know in the Itchy & Scratchy Show where blood is spurting 5ft in the air...yeah, his arm was doing that. He'd punctured his artery with the box knife he was using to cut open the cellophane from the pallets.

Valerie meanwhile was doing a Michael Jackson - turning from black to white very quickly.

So.....I grabbed paper towels, forced her back inside with a "call 911" and grabbed the guys arm. I'm getting covered in blood as I try to stop the artery spurting, the guy is almost a dead weight in my arms and is valiantly telling me he's ok.

Finally, as the paramedics pulled up the spurting started slowing down and the paramedics were able to stop the bleeding.

I collapsed on the floor (well, sat down heavily) and started shaking like a leaf, and myself and the delivery guy chain smoked about 4 cigarettes. He didn't want to go to the hospital, so we had to call his wife and have her come pick him up, then we had to call the delivery company and tell them what happened.

I then went inside to grab stuff to clean up the blood that was everywhere.......the paramedics handed me rubber gloves - just in case of any infection! (I was already covered in the stuff!)

I went home shortly after that, and after regaling the husband with the tale of what happened......he offered to make me pasta and tomato sauce for dinner!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 16:09, Reply)