I hates blood I do

Have taken the tip of a finger off twice - once with a Kitchen Devil, once (more spectacularly) with a table saw and they both caused a fair amount of bleedage but the only time I need an ambulance was more unusual.

I had to get in to work early as there was lots to do so I got up at 5.30am. Not un-heard of, but early nonetheless. We were about three years past the point where we should have got a new mattress and my back was always stiff when I first got up. I was still half asleep when I got down to the kitchen, leaving the misses fast asleep upstairs; the teenager wouldn't be stirring for a good couple of hours yet, all was quiet. I put the kettle on sat down on the kitchen stool to wait for it to boil. My back was really acting up, so I sat forward and gently leaned further over, stretching my spine nicely.

I didn't notice the stool start to tip forwards until the crown of my head connected with the stove. Then, as I disentagled myself from the stool and picked myself off the floor, I saw the blood splashing on the floor and noticed it pouring down my face. I started screaming like a sergeant major in the 100m shout-off olympic trials - bringing a sleepy, yet curious Mrs G wandering sedately down the stairs to see what the all the fuss was about.

It was nasty enough for an ambulance, which turned up pretty quickly. They led me outside and sat me down in the back to take a look and clean it up a bit, while asking how it happened. A bit embarassed, I explained exactly how I'd done it.

"Had an argument did you?"

I couldn't believe it, they thought I'd make up something like that to cover up the fact that my misses beat me with a frying pan. Mind you, I'm not saying she's not capable of it, but I think she'd do a better job of it than that.

Now I'm a bit thinner on top, the scar is fairly plain to see...

semi-circular and about four inches long.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 16:33, Reply)