It's a terrible thing, drink.
At a university summer ball I watched as a girl suddenly hit her boyfriend over the head with a champagne bottle.

I learned later that in her mind's eye she was expecting to see the bottle shatter in an impressive shower of shards, and for him to reel in an comical manner for a few moments to the amusement of all. Then there would be more drinks, a trip on the ferris wheel and some sex, perhaps simultaneously.

Sadly, while movie bottles are made of sugar, champagne bottles are made of quarter-inch thick glass.

So instead of shattering entertainingly the bottle made a kind of "Tonk!" noise, and he collapsed like a sack of potatoes in a dinner jacket, liberally distributing blood from a gash in the side of his head.

It was only as the pool of gore spread that she stopped laughing at his play acting ("Not enough reeling, although the eyes rolled back in the sockets are convincing") and started shouting for help instead.

He was fine after they'd patched him up. Although, mysteriously, their relationship came to an end shortly afterwards. Odd, that.
(richardm, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 17:12, 3 replies)

Best story so far
*clicks*
It's very rare that I actually laugh out loud at something on here, nicely done.
( Cawl, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 17:21, closed)

"Tonk!"
*snorts and giggles*
(RDFCRob Please God let Obama win!, Thu 7 Aug 2008, 17:29, closed)

*click*

even though you made me snort coffee out of my nose!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 7 Aug 2008, 17:32, closed)