The Apparition
One night many years ago, at about 1am, I was awoken from my delightful slumber by a hideous apparition. Towering over my bed at over six foot tall, the horror loomed over my half-awake form, revealing its face to be nothing more than a skinless, gory pulp, dripping gore onto my pillow.

I did the only thing a sane man would in the circumstances: panicked, and punched it in the bollocks. Whereupon it folded up on the floor, revealing itself not to be an apparition from beyond the grave but my friend, Andy, with whom I had entrusted a key.

Turns out Andy had been to the local and had drunk copious amounts of beer. At closing time he'd decided it'd be fun to roll down the big steep hill in the park next to the pub. Which it might well have been had he done it on his side. But he did it head first, rolling down and down the hill like a human wheel, gathering speed, careering out of control until the stupid twat finally went face-first into the pavement at the bottom.

He'd lost most of the blood on the way back to the flat. But there was still plenty left to stain the carpets, the sheets, the old clothes scattered around and indeed everything else he went near.

Next day, when he'd had the chance to clean and bandage his wounds, I made sure to take the key away, sharpish.
(MattDP (Squiggle), Fri 8 Aug 2008, 15:32, Reply)