Only had three major incidents involving lots of blood...
1) Good old banjo-string snappage. Was doing it sneakily with my missus at the time in the living room, as we were attending a gig the next day in Manchester (I was living in Chester, the missus in Bangor), and we also had a joint friend of ours staying with us for the night (He was from Swindon, so he couldn't exactly do a massive drive up and then go straight into a gig, as ironically he's anaemic and would be absolutely knackered for the gig), who was sleeping in my room at the time.

Anyway, neither of us were quite adequately lubed up for doing it sneakily, but we were both tanked up and were in the mood, so we tried to do it. About a minute in, it becomes suddenly easier to get in and out for some reason (Guess why.) "Ah-ha!" thinks I whilst I'm doing her on the floor of the living room, and then suddenly realise I'm not wearing a rubber, and that the missus has come off the pill. So I communicate this knowledge to her, and she agrees to let me finish off in her mouth. Vinegar strokes time, and I pull out and go for her mouth, and unload. She swallows it, and has an absolutely horrified expression on her face.

Turns out that I had snapped my banjo-string, and was too pissed to notice. Poor lass had to swallow a load of blood and population paste, which she wasn't too impressed about. Cue me trying, and successfully sneaking around the house like a naked Solid Snake with a cock spraying blood, in order to get cleaned up without waking up my mate in the next room, or my housemates in the rooms above (I lived with two girls at this point, and trying to explain to them why I was running around the living room stark naked and looking like I'd just butchered a pig with my cock would have been really hard to explain). The gig the next day was absolute hell as I started to bleed again in the car on the way to Manchester, and didn't stop bleeding until I'd gotten home.

2) I trod on a nail once in bare feet. Hilarity and claret ensue as I leap about pulling the nail out of my foot and then try and leap to my parents to get some sort of attention for my foot which was leaking blood at quite an interesting rate. Got a new pair of jeans and a scar out of it, which was pretty good.

3) Not me this time, thankfully, but a brother of a mate of mine. Me, my friend, we shall call him JC for that is his nickname, JC's brother, and another mate who we shall call S (The mate mentioned previously, oddly enough), all liked to play badminton. We used to play weekly, until this event, after which we stopped, for very good reason. JC's brother was dicking around by the poles holding the net up in the middle, and for those who don't know, there are little sticky-outy metal bits which you can loop stuff onto, they point up and down. Think of it as a bit like a K with the spine of the K being the pole and the metal bits as the other parts of the K. Anyway, he decides it'd be a great idea to jump onto it and use it as a fireman's slide.

So he does so.

Unfortunately forgetting one very vital important thing.

The metal sticky-outy-bits.

He only remembers this when it is far, far too late.

Far, far too late being him hanging, literally by the remains of his ballbag, off the top-most metal part. He had jumped and slid down with enough force to rip through his shorts, underwear, and rip his ballbag in half and leave him hanging off it. Anyone seen the Pain Olympics? I had just had part of it recreated by accident in front of me.

The amount of blood was impressive though, I must admit. Soaked his undies, his shorts, his shoes and quite a lot of everywhere else.

I almost threw up, and went off to the reception to get them to ring for a doctor and then had to sit outside and wait for the ambulance and stuff. Declined the offer to go to the hospital with them, and caught the rest of the story later. Apparently he had to have his nuts put back in, and many stitches to repair his nutsack.

Apologies for length, it usually satisfies.
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Fri 8 Aug 2008, 18:23, 3 replies)

You made me
cringe and actually say "aaaaah" out loud. Click!
(Bel Shamharoth has eight of everything, Fri 8 Aug 2008, 18:49, closed)

Awesome
Thanks :D
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Fri 8 Aug 2008, 19:32, closed)

Technically speaking
I don't like this. But *click* all the same.



ooooowwwwwwww
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sat 9 Aug 2008, 18:36, closed)