Toenails
My big toenail was ingrown and for whatever reason the doctor wouldn't do the fancy operation to remove the nail. After a while it got to be really painful so I thought "Fuck it, how hard can it be to cut the bloody thing out?".
It turns out, it is really hard. I figured you could just cut the nail normally then sort of go in at an angle and shear it off bit by bit. Unfortunately I hadn't taken my spacker coordination into account. I ended up cutting most of the nail plate off and driving the scissors (No poncy nail scissors, only proper, manly ones) into the soft flesh. You wouldn't believe the amount of blood you'd get out of a single toe, and hitting the nerves underneath hurts like a bugger as well.I had to go to A&E and tell the doctor how I managed to amputate half my toenail.

The bastard damn near laughed his head off. On the plus side, I did get the ingrown part out, so once it healed and the nail grew back, no more pain.
(steadfastmeat Laconic ham, perhaps?, Fri 8 Aug 2008, 22:55, 2 replies)

Yup
did basically the same thing this year myself but ended up having a doc sort it because my attempted surgery was shite and made it worse. :D
(Lukekull Fuck, Sat 9 Aug 2008, 16:39, closed)

I feel ill.
*clicks*
( thealternativefact, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 17:33, closed)