full sympathy for davyboyingravyjoy
me and the missus came home one day to find blood everywhere. it was all over the carpets, all over the sofa, the hallway, and all over the bathroom. there were bloody handprints leading from lounge to bathroom as well, in a sort of breadcrumb trail of gore.
turns out our flatmate had been seeing his ex, and she had been trying to win him back a little over-enthusiastically, by rubbing his poor soldier so hard that his banjo string was well and truly snapped. to cap it all off, she was apparently expecting a hot jet of coconut milk to spew forth onto her waiting face, but received a gobful of claret instead. lovely.
( the brass moustache putting the ass moust in brache since, Sat 9 Aug 2008, 21:20, Reply)