That'll learn me...

At the tender age of nine, a doctor hacked me up and half inched my appendix.

I didn't really need it, and it was close to being a bit bursty, so I was fine with him taking it.

Afterwards, to ensure the nurses earned their pay I insisted on fidgeting a lot and frequently pushed down on my hands to sit myself up.

This was fun for all the family as blood would shoot up the tube and block the whole thing up, meaning the nurses had to come and change it, which I reckon they loved... and who wouldn't?

Not long after being hastily discharged I was sat in front of the telly with my mum, fiddling with the covering over my gash when I felt something a bit damp and sticky.

Pulling my hand away I turned to my mum and, in my squeaky wurzelness, wondered aloud whether I should have such a bloody mess all over my hands.

Seems as though the docs at Bath hospital were much better at cutting people up than they were at stitching them back together again.
( Moey, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 21:08, 3 replies)

hmmm
Any story that starts "At the tender age of nine" should not contain the phrase "fiddling with the covering over my gash when I felt something a bit damp and sticky".
(NoveltyCondomHead Clanks Wams., Sun 10 Aug 2008, 22:39, closed)

Hmmm
It's a story about me as a nine year old boy who's stomach has recently been chopped open...
( Moey, Mon 11 Aug 2008, 10:28, closed)

Bath
Hospital is a nightmare, go in with anything and you will come out feeling worse...
(Wandering Nomad still wandering on, Mon 11 Aug 2008, 11:28, closed)