Stupid Stupid Brothers
Not completely blood related but it seemed close enough at the time.

My younger brother has never known when to stop and so (aged 16) whilst my parents and youngest siblings were away in London he decides a party is in order. He and his mates are some of the most pretentious idiots I know, so instead of your usual cider/vodka teenage party they procede to get absolutely mullered on port, red wine, malt whiskey and real ale. Brothers tipple of choice apparently being port washed down with whiskey followed by a hefty amount of cigars. I was woken up at 4.30am by his hysterical girlfriend screaming down the 'phone that he'd killed himself and was lying prone in a pool of blood.
After the initial fear and shouting at the dopey mare to call 999 not me who was 100 miles away a more sober member of the party was found

...and we discovered the twat had simply passed out in his own port coloured vomit.

Bloody kids.
(anotherdoublewhiskey, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 19:48, Reply)