Pus Galore
My BF asked me if i would squeeze a spot on his back.
I wasn't really keen but the things you do for love eh.
As it happened, it wasn't that bad, a long thin string of something waxy coiled out followed by a few drops of blood, cleaned it up and all was good.
Only a few days later he said it was hurting a bit and could i have another look.
This time it had a small crusty scab surrounded by an angry looking swelling.
I got a bit of tissue and picked off the scab. I hadn't even begun to press but the thing exploded, unfortunately I was leaning quite close and felt what seemed like a cup full of bloody foul smelling pus hit my face.
I ran retching into the bathroom and frantically washed my face and hands about a dozen times. And he's sat there laughing.
Had to finish cleaning it up, this time with my face not so close and slightly turned away. A bit of antiseptic spray and a plaster finished the job.
A couple of mornings later we're snuggling up in bed and I felt something a bit scratchy on my stomach, look down and the manky plaster had come off in the night and is stuck to me. killed the mood i can tell you.
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 15:42, 5 replies)

he's a keeper

(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:11, closed)

not any more
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 22:47, closed)

I'm sure you could find some way to get even
Here's a suggestion; while he's comatose goose him with a used tampon. If you cut the string off he'll think he's just shat his parasitic twin.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 17:37, closed)

that made me chuckle a little
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 22:47, closed)

Not quite the facial either of you had in mind, eh?
(EffinNitWit asks his tobacco where his whisky is, Thu 18 Jul 2013, 15:33, closed)