OK here it goes.
About five years ago, I met this girl, the only way to describe her would be stunning. I like very skinny girls, and this girl would make an Ethiopian orphan look a bit chubby. She also had a very very pretty face.

Anyway we got chatting in a bar, we bought some meth, went back to hers, we smoked the meth, we had some very very good sex. Now when I got her clothes off, the shear quantity of self harm scars she had should have rung alarm bells, but I'm a sucker for a great arse. So thought nothing of it.

Then in the morning when she said she was going out to get some food, but came back with some plastic bags, and a big tube of glue. I know I really should have left there and then, but I still had that horny meth buzz, so waited for her to stop crying and talking to her dead husband, and when she came down off her glue trip, we smoked a little more meth, and had some great sex again.

It ended up with me spendig a whole week with her, during this time she tried to stab me, cut her own throat, set fire to my appartment, jump off the balcony and stand in the street with a knife threatening passers by. After each of these episodes, I knew I should be running away, but like I said, great arse, great sex.

Anyway, the time I woke up to find her sitting on top of me with a knife, about to cut of my cock, I decided enough was enough. I told her she obviously had problems and needed help, but I wasn't the man to do it. I told her she should go and see a doctor, or she'd end up dead or in prison, and goodbye forever. She went a bit mental and punched me alot, but at least she didn't try and stab me again.

So the end of the story....oh no. About two months later, I'm walking into my local to meet my new and rather sexy girlfriend, and the police follow me in, ask me are you Edenmonster from London, to which I reply yes. They say, ok you come with us. Now you have to understand I live in Bangkok, and enjoy some less than legal recreational passtimes, so this was very very bad news. In fact I nearly shit myself, and everyone around me's looking at me with a you're fucked expression on their face.

So I follow the police, and on the way ask them what it's all about. They tell me they have my girlfriend at the police station. I'm wondering why, because as I said my girlfriend at the time was a very nice girl.

So I walk into the police station, and it's physco girl from two months before. It turns out she's been caught with a load of meth, told the police I'm her boyfriend and where they can find me. I quickly told the police she's nothing to do with me, while thinking-please don't urine test me please don't urine test me please don't urine test me. Luckily they didn't, they asked if I was going to pay her bribe, and I said no. She asked me to go and look for some of her friends, to see if they would pay for. I made a half hearted effort, but couldn't find anyone, so went back and met my girlfriend.

She got twelve years in the Bangkok Hilton. She'll be out in four, when she gets I'm going to either move, or spend the rest of life lookinmg over my shoulder.

That is all.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Sat 18 Nov 2006, 5:05, Reply)