Saturday morning Tribulations.
I, as many of you know - Live in Sweden.

...and, have dated many swedes... *hooray for me*.
one of whom gets a mention here.. b3ta.com/questions/misunderstood/post41070/

Anyway.. I woke up this morning in a similar state to last week... badly hung over and still regretting the balcony incident that appeared to be popular last week.

This morning it appears that god, through the medium of my neighbour is exacting some sort of revenge...

My neighbour must be ... ooohhh... 23 or 24.. single (I assume) and, I promise you this.. she is absoloutly stunning. by Swedish Standards, This lass is a beauty.

However, as of 9:00am I'm beginning to suspect that she's not all there. Apparement buildings here in Sweden usually have general rules, and what with Swedes following rules to the letter... people stick to them. (In Sweden pedestrians wouldn't run accross a road to escape an axe-wielding maniac unless the little green man was showing... but hey.. it's sweden. Axe-wielding maniacs don't exist) I digress.

9:00am to 9:00pm... That's when it is permitted to use hammer drills and make lots of noise in my building. No problem. It's not unusual to be woken up by someone playing with Mr Bosch next door. Today was no different.

Ms Next-door sparked up her powertool at 9:00am on the dot. She drilled ten holes... no problem. They were ALL in the wall that adjoins my livingroom. Again.. it's only ten.. i can deal with that.

... But she didn't stop at ten. Since then I've been counting M&M's into a pint glass for each hole she has drilled. (hey... i'm hungover... i needed something to do.)

Being an engineer and having been on this job for 3 hours .. (at time of writing) i've taken the libery to weigh said sweeties, the kind of glass i'm usign, and asmple of 10 "control" sweeties... and calculate the amount of holes so far.

I shit you not.. at the moment, she's done 134 holes in the wall behind me.. and it seems as though she's not planning on stopping just yet.

136.

Jesus titty-fucking christ.

140.

I'll recalculate and then re-count later... but WHY on earth does ANYONE need to drill 142 fucking holes in a wall that only measures 4x2 meters??

you know the film "ice age" that has the adorable sabre-tooth Squirrel trying to bury his acorn in everything?... and how he occasionally "looks at the camera" with a comicly forlorn, worried and scared little face and whimpers? -that's me right now.

143.

I mean.. REALLY... what the hell is she up to??

EDIT: 151 holes.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Sat 18 Nov 2006, 11:09, Reply)