She's calling Big Earl...
Earlier this year me and a few mates went into Manchester for my bro's stag night. We were booked into a Travel Lodge in the centre and were a stone's throw from the drinking areas, which we were quick to attend. After a few hours getting hammered I decided enough was enough and walked back, and promptly fell asleep fully clothed.

At about half 3 all hell broke loose. I was sharing the room with two others, but as well as them, two other mates turned up and 4 lasses (I say lasses, one of them was the same age and consistency as Dierdie Barlow). Anyway, two were fit sisters, early twenties and obviously battered. I say that because they both took a shine to my minging mates and one was soon laid on the pull-out bed with said mate getting it on. I was having none of it and told them to do one, but my mate (being sex-starved) started showing off and telling me to shut up, which I wasn't about to do. Then the fun began. She:

- Asked me why I was so agressive (I told her I had issues with my Dad to shut her up, but she turned into Oprah and started deconstructing my psyche)
- Swore at me when I asked her to leave and threatened physical violence.
- Called me a 'cock', 'prick' and 'bastard' and said she was going to have me shot
- Eventually left only to return several minutes later saying we had her handbag (we didn't). She then sat on my bed and started stroking my hair. I hit the roof and threw her out. More threats of being shot.
- Set the fire alarm off as she left leaving us to explain to 150+ guests and the fire service what was going on.

A couple of hours later I got a text from my mate who told me she'd called 'Big Earl' and he was coming to shoot us all in the morning. I checked for snipers on the opposite roofs the next day but fortunately our flak jackets and covert cross-town movements saved our lives.
(titusyouclown, Mon 20 Nov 2006, 13:04, Reply)