How to Spot A Lesbian
I could write a pretty good guide on the subject. I am sure there are a quite a few guys out there who think being having 'lesb-dar' would be great. It isn't, because they aren't interested in guys; hence the term lesbian.

Anyway, several years ago I went out with an absolutely gorgeous woman; fun, intelligent, stunning, my height (ie under 5' 4"), slightly geekish (liked 'Myst' - yep, that long ago) etc. We mucked around for a few months, then I finally got her into bed - when she suddenly turned into the proverbial starfish. Hmmm, thinks I, maybe she needs a bit'o'toungue downstairs... WHAM. A knee to my jaw actually knocked a tooth out. Me - stunned, a lot of pain, blood everywhere, trying to find lost tooth. Her - got out of bed, starts dressing and says "I don't like that kind of thing".

Turns out she was terribly mixed up and hadn't really come to terms with being gay, and was over-compensating by trying to sleep with a lot of guys. She was three-timing me it turned out, and flung herself at one of my good friends a few days later - we aren't friends now, as he accepted with gusto on the top deck of a harbour cruise at the time.

I sort of feel sorry for her, because I am like that; but then again the bitch knocked one of my teeth out during sex - I have a false tooth now because of that.

Another lesson (and other story): no matter how gorgeous / good in bed / wonderful they might be - if they have a drug habit they will fuck you over, as that's all they care about.

And Strangelady? I'm 35, bachelor - mainly due to above events. I'd love to meet someone average and normal.
(corinoco is waiting for the revolution., Tue 21 Nov 2006, 0:19, Reply)