So my insane very ex.
What a nutcase. Not too pretty though. Had a face like he has just finished chewing on his nasty looking feet.

Anyway in the first six months I REALLY had trouble getting a word in edgeways. I took an active interest in both of his main hobbies. You know made a real and honest effort.

The cracks began to form.

I went for a wonder to the shops on my day off, one of his friends saw me and gave me a lift home. Being a woman I had a lot of bags. Bonkers man insists that I have had an illicit afternoon of sex with his friend. OOOhh KAAAAAYYYYY!

Over the next year or so, in his twisted little mind I have had affairs with the store manager where I work, nasty smelly early morning manager, gay man at work, his brother (WTF?) and his brother in law (who had cracked on to what was going on). Various accusations ensue, hour long shouty events happen. Bonkers man insists that I "prove" to him that I'm not having an affair by sleeping with him. Yikes!

His paranoia increases.

So happy that I no longer have any male friends and the bedroom stuff has basically stopped. Bonkers man insists that I MUST be a lesbian. Hmm let me think, erm no I'm not. But seeing as in his mind I am, I am free to "explore" that part of my personality in our house. With my best friend, who also isn't a lesbian.

So I try to leave him. He threatens that if I do, he will come and scream at me at work and take out an ad in the local newspaper so that everyone in Portsmouth with know what I am like.

By this time, I have no friends, I used to wake in the night for a secret cry, he used to look through my dirty underwear in the laundry basket "for evidence", watching soaps was bad for my mind, I had tried to do a few classes to move up the career ladder and he couldn't have been more unsupportive.

After he had forced me to have sex with him, he used to remind me that because we were married it was his right as my husband.

Just to make sure that I wasn't in a fit state to leave him or have an affair he used to tell me regurlarly that no other man would want me because I am too fat and stupid.

When I finally managed to get the hell out of there (took me the best part of a year!), on the guise that I was going stay with my Mum for a couple of days, he used to phone my Mum up and hastle my sister online and to convince them to help him get me back. And somehow he managed to find my fave chat spot and get my most secret email off one of the people there, that they didn't have to start off with.

Once when I was stupid enough to talk to him on the phone we had this conversation.
Bonkers man :"why won't you come back to me?"
Me "Because you don't trust me"
Bonkers man: "Yes I do."

After he served divorce papers on me, he changed the locks, so I basically walked out of there with whatever he thought fit that I should have of my stuff. He donated a lot of my stuff to I don't know where.

Then he moved to Australia to be with the "love of his life". I know this because he kept tabs on me for ages afterwards and sent me a letter to my work letting me know that he was ok, and that I should "get help".

So, the world is indeed a big enough place for me never to see Bonkers man again. He gets the Southern Hemisphere and Portsmouth, and I get the rest of the world.

This tale has a little postscript, that I would like to share with whoever has read this far down:- Just as soon as I had managed to leave I started boinking for Britain just to see if I could. Indeed I wasn't too fat, I wasn't too stupid and I wasn't such a bad lay after all.

Still Bonkers man will die far far far before I pass on from this mortal coil.

To end this, I would like to say a public thanks to the people who helped me through that nasty time, and the people who stayed on my side and most of all the hot sex with no strings men (apart from that man who wanted to help me with shaving, that's a bit messed up)
(lympicita_ie, Wed 22 Nov 2006, 12:54, Reply)