Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
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rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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I got to utter the ultimate lineOne summer solstice I was walking back from a pub to where I lived in Basingstoke. Basingstoke has rightfully gained the title "Donut City" because of it's vast array of roundabouts, some of which have been decorated by large sculptures.
My personal favourite is the Stone Henge esque WADE ROAD ROUNDABOUT which has several standing stones on it.
At the point I reached the roundabout I spotted some pals of mine sacrificing a doll on the smallest standing stone dressed as druids, they were doing a near theatrical wickerman-esque performance to passing cars.
For some bizarre reason instead of approaching the men in the druidic robes a police car pulled up besides me and enquired "Are you anything to do with this disturbance?"
Without sensible hesitation I uttered the line "Stop, move along, these are not the druids you're looking for"
Surprisingly they just ignored my comments and decided to drive off. I'm Not quite sure what they wanted from me but I'm glad they stopped me.
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mrbongo sweating like a formicophiliac on I'm a celebrity, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 19:03,
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