Funnily enough
there was a teacher at my school who'd had a mastectomy and had a fake tit (you could tell easily by the oscillations that it wasn't real!) which was reputed to be made of wood.

We used to phrase questions in her earshot, such as "It would be good if [whatever], wouldn't it?" Which sounded just like 'wooden tit'. Oh, how we laughed.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 6 May 2010, 21:29, Reply)