I'm sure I won't be the only one.
I used to be a sports masseur. In the course of my job I got to see some "outre" bodies as I'm sure your imagination will run with...
One time I had an older lady in for a massage. She stripped down with just a towel round her waist. Lo, before me were the most wrinkly ballons I'd had the misfortune to see since I went on holiday with my nan. (No amount of councelling will help me on that one.)
Now, I've seen lots of bodies, worked for years with them, so I wasn't taken aback.
Right, get the initial exam over, from behind of course, get her on the couch. I'm adept at keeping a towel placed for modesty reasons, so why did she insist on pulling the towel back down under her gourds. I'd pull the towel back up, she'd pull it down. All the time giving me a glare like I was expected to be doing the whole "Grand Finale" thing!
I left it where she put it eventually, but maintained eye contact all the way.

Funnily enough my wife tells me I give a fantastic breast massage. (Not often enough though) But no way man! This old bird was ready to wrap them round my head. Eeurgh.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:52, Reply)