Army Tits
My favourite tit tale is when Sgt Major Wobbly-Gob came to attend a "Camouflage and Concealment" session to a group of new recruits. So, the recruits have buddied up, applied the camouflage cream, and done their best to break up shape and outline as best they could. They were preparing to start there first exercise in woodland and meadow.

Sgt Maj Wobbly-God was doing the bit were you emphasise noise, and that anything excessive in your pockets was to be removed. Wobbly (for that is what we called him) was very assertively going down the line and getting them to jump so he could hear noise.

When he gets to this recruit who a had very lumpy combat jacket indeed, in such a way that something was sticking the breast pockets way out in front of the rest of the recruit.

Wobbly was incensed! "What the fuck are those?" he shouts as he outstretches both palms of his hands and gives the breast pockets a very firm squeeze.

And the recruit, in her best I'm-a-girl-trying-to-sound-like-a-soldier voice shouted back "Tits Sir".

Wobbly went redder than a red thing and soon had something more urgent to attend to, and the rest of the training staff took some time to calm down.

In retrospect, I'd have groped them too. I love tits me.
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Sun 9 May 2010, 6:30, 3 replies)

Sir?
Are Sergeants Major (or whatever) addressed as 'sir'?
(ragged, Sun 9 May 2010, 13:32, closed)

Nco's unless on the parade ground
are addressed with their rank and Co's are addressed 'Sir' although recruits fuck it up a lot and call everybody sir for the first couple of weeks until they get it beaten into them!

although, senior Nco's I.e Warrant Officers, Sergeant Majors command the 'Sir' title due to time served.
(Kip, Sun 9 May 2010, 16:13, closed)

I don't think it's time based.
Sargeant Major (either Warrant Officer first or second class) is an Officer by Warrant, as opposed to a Commisioned Officer which obviously has a commission. It's true though that a WOI or WOII would have come through the ranks, not the sausage factory, to earn the title Sir.

It's all confusing. Our RSM insisted on calling him Sir even in the Mess..but the Commissioned Officers would insist on being called Peter or Rupert or whatever.
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Sun 9 May 2010, 17:23, closed)