Honk-honk!
Several years ago I was given a divine gift. Like some people become suddenly endowed with mystical foresight or spiritual enlightenment without any practise or intention, I became a honker. Squeeze a breast and a sound EXACTLY like a cheap, tinny-sounding car horn parps straight out of my mouth.

In the Egg, a seedy after-party venue in London, I decided to use it to break the ice with a group of stangers. In the garden, I spotted a group of unknown revellers. I wobbled over and very, very slowly... PARP! PARP! I squeezed the bosom of a man. He looked up with bewildered incomprehension, but a look soon dawned across his face; a realisation!

PARP! PARP!

His friends understood too. A cacophony of honks ensued.

Walking to the tube station afterwards I was greeted with soft honking behind me, fading into the distance.
(Turn that bloody gramaphone down has incorrect spelling in her username *WINS*, Wed 12 May 2010, 22:22, Reply)