When I go to The Continent, I like to learn at least a little bit of the lingo, out of politeness - even if it's just the "Please may I have"s/"Can we have the bill please"/"Thank you very much, your daughter is very skilled".
We were in Seville, at a self-catering apartment, and my flamboyantly homosexual friend and I went on a booze run. He thought I could speak Spanish, because I'd understood when the taxi driver had commented on how hot it was (albeit while indicating the thermometer reading on the dashboard and saying something like "Scorchio!"), so when it came to conversing it was I who did it, as he's absolutely terrified of pretty well anyone outside the clientele of the Admiral Duncan.

So I bought a case of beer, and matey bought several bottles of wine.

The friendly cashier said something to him in Spanish, clearly asking whether or not he wanted the bottles double-bagged.

My friend stared at the cashier in horror, and after several beats said loudly and clearly, and not a little shrilly, "AI'M TEYIBLY SORRY - I DEWN'T SPEEK SPANISH!", grabbed the bottles and ran out, without his change.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 12:29, 3 replies)

Excellent
*clickio*
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 12:32, closed)

Click for...

"Scorchio!"
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Tue 29 Apr 2014, 12:57, closed)

Brazilian TV is EXACTLY like the Fast Show

...They even call the weather report the temperature report.

And for some reason, most programs have a row of simpering, busty young women in swimsuits posing at the back of the stage. They appear to have no function other than scenery...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 15:35, closed)