On the very rare occasion I do something dramatic/athletic/brave, I always
wrongly assume that my limbs and muscles and bits are aware of the plan.

My friends were sat on the other side of a fence, on the cliff-top, having a picnic. This is all much safer than it sounds; there was a lot of grass to sit on.

I made the decision to do a spectacular and manly leap over the fence. I had occasionally leapt before and it had always gone well. This time, my limbs were not aware of what I wished them to do and my legs and arms got it all wrong.

My intention was one hand on the fence, swing my legs over, land triumphantly. Instead, I just ran into the fence at quite some speed whilst doing a pathetic little jump with my arms to my sides. My colossal momentum caused me to pivot, like a hairy windmill, over the top of the fence into an accidental-somersault. The edge of the cliff is quite some distance away when you've gently lowered yourself over the fence, but when you propel yourself over the fence, upside-down, the resulting sausage-roll will accelerate you to it quite quickly.

I did not die because I grabbed onto a bit of tree and my friends arms. They laughed at me afterwards.
( stevierar, Tue 9 Jul 2013, 4:28, Reply)