In which stuff nearly explodes, but has shag-all to do with me.
When I was a young Thos. Bent, one of my dad's friends worked for the railways in the 1980's as a flagman alerting oncoming trains to the presence of trackworkers and trackworkers to the presence of oncoming trains.

He liked to drink (as pretty much everyone who worked in railways seemed to in those days, and was standing out there, flag and light and slab of beer equipped, in the middle of winter. The tracks that they had fixed involved removing wooden sleepers and stacking them by the side of the tracks, so he gets a bright idea and decides to create a nice warm bonfire.

As the fire gets going and creates a nice warm feeling, he notices that there's a little sign not far away.

DANGER, GAS AND OIL PIPELINE it reads, as he looks over and sees how close the fire is to said pipeline.

The fire was put out, and I think it scared him enough to stop drinking for about a half an hour.
(Sir Thomas Bent is performing unspeakable acts with the Mace, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 4:59, Reply)