Bus FAIL.
It was a nice sunny day a few summers ago. I was lounging in Hyde Park with a few friends, having had a few cans of cider and a kick-about. The time came, all too quickly when you're having fun, to part our ways and I sauntered out towards Hyde Park Corner intending to walk towards Green Park and onwards to Victoria. As I walked out onto the busy pavement I noticed a rather attractive young lady walk past dressed in very little, carrying bags of shopping and wearing flip-flops.

"Hmm," thinks I, "that footwear is a tad inappropriate for a busy London street."

As if by magic she stumbled and fell, dropping a bag of shopping and skinning her knee. Given that I'm a gentleman she was hot I immediately rushed over to her aid, picking up her shopping, getting Muller Light all over my hand ("don't worry about it love, no use crying over spilt yoghurt") and generally seeing to her well being while others ignored her. This worked well, we had a brief chat and I came away with her number. Always a fan of a dramatic exit I noticed an old Routemaster lumbering up the road from Knightsbridge. I bade her farewell and with impeccable timing, swung my arm out, catching the grabrail and leaping towards the rear platform.

And missing. I clipped my foot on the edge of the bus, stumbling alongside until the yoghurt on my right hand conspired against me and I slipped down and faceplanted in the middle of the bus lane. (It was at this point that my first thought should've been something other than "that reminds me, I haven't seen Raiders of the Lost Ark in a while") Thankfully, the bus stopped a matter of metres up the road and I was able to clamber aboard, blood streaming from my nose and no real front left on my jeans any longer. The best part about this tale came when I dropped my sorry self next to a elderly woman who said, with the best understatement I've ever heard, "you ought to be more careful there son, these buses can be dangerous."

Unsurprisingly, I didn't get a response from the text I sent yoghurt girl a few days later, either.
(jamesthegill opens new tabs with his scroll wheel, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 21:37, 1 reply)

Ahahahaha.
I was about to blame the holes in your jeans the last time I saw you on this until I read closer.
( Maladicta, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 21:43, closed)