Stuart, the bus and Supergran
A friend (Stuart) was a bus driver in London during the mid 80s. About a week after qualifying as a driver, and with a rather packed bus he was merily chugging along.

Suddenly he was presented with a young lad who decided to play chicken with a 10+ ton Leyland. Stuart was rather impressed with his reaction times as he performed an emergency stop. That was until he looked in the mirror. To his horror the elderly lady originally standing by the rear doors was doing an amazing "human-missile" impersonation down the length of the bus. Supergran® eventually faceplanted the "Please do not distract the driver" sign ( her knitted beanie providing minimal protection). She then hit the deck and began to roll sideways towards the hydraulic front doors. Nervous and unsure what to do next...

Stuart opened the doors! Spanging "Dottie" in the face before she rolled out into the high street.

Length: about an inch shorter after her flight but still longer than his bus driving career.
(skintagain, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:07, Reply)