Sick bus ride
I was never very good at travelling, used to puke all the time when in cars, buses, coaches and the like. My uncle even had to wipe off half an eaten hot dog on the way to watch the Mighty Argyle many moon ago after I puked my lunch down his shiny Ford Orion.

Anyway, when I was 17 I started a new college (after dropping out the first one) and all was set for my first day. Well, that was until the night before. I was invited to a friend’s landlady’s 30th birthday party, and that’s when 30 was old. I was not going to miss this.

Me and my friend went to the party, had much fun, old people were actually alright, and then all back to theirs to drink Jack Daniels till the early morning.

When my mum woke me the next day bright and early for my first day at the new college, which was 14 miles away, I wasn’t feeling the best. To say the least. She made me eat breakfast, Cornflakes no less, and sent me on my way.

By the time I got on the bus, my first real hangover kicked in. I was not feeling good. And I had 14 miles through Cornish roads to travel too. Wasn’t boding well. It actually almost was fine, until about 2 miles away from college, my breakfast, which now included warm curdled milk mixed with the JD, decided to pay a visit. I had no choice. I puked. There and then. On the bus. Over the seats. Luckily it was only college kids on board, and not many of them too, so no one saw. Still, I’d managed to spray myself a nice coating of vom too. Which was nice, for my first day of college and all.*

Day from hell went by and the bus ride back beckoned. Arse, I’m still not feeling chipper. And this time, the bus was packed, not only with college kids but with mum’s and gran’s and their shopping. Arse.

And this bus went the long way… over lots of bumps.

Unfortunately this time round, my stomach contacts didn’t want to wait long to make their escape. And they didn’t. I was upstairs on a double decker bus, which was packed. What could I do? Well when the first wave came, I kept my mouth closed, with my hands clamped overI managed to contain it (although a small bit escaped). Shit, now what do I do, I can spit it out on the floor, but everyone will see, it will smell, it could cause a chain reaction? Only thing for it. Swallow it. Which surprisingly, made me gag, and puke some more. I was stuck in a puking /swallowing mire for about 15 mins until finally I managed to re-eat what I was fighting. It was pleasant. To say the least. I wouldn’t advise it to anyone.

The hour later when I finally got home, I managed to get rid of the troubles in my stomach and rest my weary bones. No doubt, it was the worst bus journey ever. And I’m sorry if you were sat near me watching me puke and eat it for 15 mins, but I wasn’t feeling too good that day.

*my friend Ben, who got stuck on the 220, later told me he wondered why I stank of sick all day. He told me 5 years later. Which was nice. Could’ve told me that day.
(CornishStanley can't post hyperlinks, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 14:16, Reply)