BusesWe've got a local bus driver who likes to pull away slowly just to see how far old ladies with shopping trollies will chase him down the road. By popular demand - tell us your thrilling bus anecdotes.
Thanks to glued eel for the suggestion
(
Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 13:14)
« Go Back
The Most Uncomfortable Rus Ride EverWas on my way home from Uni a few months ago. Got on the bus with my flatmate, and started chatting. At the next stop, a fat man with a NUFC Hat on started... entertaining us. The following were all said within the 7-minute bus ride.
===
FAT MAN (to an Indian Guy)
Ha! You're like Rab C. Nesbitt, only coloured in!
INDIAN GUY
Uh... I have to go
FAT MAN
Oi mate, go take your face for a shit!
===
(Muslim guy gets on the bus and proceeds to go upstairs)
FAT MAN
Ha! Chemical Ali's just gone upstairs!
===
FAT MAN (to an Elderly Asian woman holding a bag)
Oi! You got a bomb in there? Haha!
==
FAT MAN
Alright Granddad
OLD MAN WITH FLATCAP
Uh.. hello.
FAT MAN
Your hat's rubbish. You look like a turnip!
OLD MAN
...
FAT MAN
I'd ask you to give me your hat, but I don't want a cauliflower!
OLD MAN
...
FAT MAN
Ha! What are you? A cabbage?!
OLD MAN
...
===
FAT MAN (to me)
I like your hair mate! Did you stick your finger in a plug socket?
ME (humouring him)
Ha, yeah. Have to do it every morning.
FAT MAN
I bet you do! I bet you put your finger in the plug socket!
ME
Uh huh.
FAT MAN
I bet you put your finger in the plug socket!
===
FAT MAN (spotting another Muslim on the bus)
There's another one!
FAT MAN'S FRIEND
Look... I don't wanna go round upsetting my neighbours
FAT MAN
Pfft! You don't have neighbours!
===
FAT MAN (to me)
I like your glasses! You look like Gok Wan... but white!
ME
I.. I thought Gok Wan was white
FAT MAN
Oooooooooh! What are you? A FEMINIST?
ME
Gok Wan isn't female either.
FAT MAN
(mocking my accent) Pip! Pip! Tally ho! Tell Daddy to get the farms ready!
ME
Hey look, it's my stop...
===
Oh, racist Fat Man. I do hope I get to see you again someday.
(, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 8:17, 3 replies)
Jesus"Oi mate, go take your face for a shit!"
I just spat my coffee out due to the absurd nature of that comment. Oh, it was funny too.
(, Sat 27 Jun 2009, 9:23, closed)
Bloody good...*CLICKS*
(, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:24, closed)
« Go Back