Dublin bus
Dublin about three weeks ago.

I'm sitting in the window seat just behind the one reserved for the elderly and the infirm -

the one, as a healthy young thing, you're supposed to give up.

There was an empty seat next to me.

There were empty seats next to several people.

This giant, ambling, moustachioed hag decides she likes the look of mine as she boards and

crashes down next to me, the impact wave propelling me a good 3-4 inches over and a further

3-4 inches of give in her ample flesh assimilates my elbow and hip.

I have my headphones on - the journey is nearly over.

I contemplate standing for its' remainder.

But why embarrass her?

She doesnt smell.

She is sitting quietly.

I take a deep breath.

I try to make my own ample frame as compact as I can.

I grin and bear it.

I look out the window and try not to notice her.

I admire the lovely young things frolicking down O'Connel street.

The music in my headphones soundtracks a tolerable summers day in the city.


Then there's a tapping on my shoulder.

A pointy finger beckoning my attention.

I turn my head and she is staring right at me, the lip-mouse squeaks at me and I recoil my

neck as there is simply nowhere to go.

"Have you got any change?", she says.

I offer my stock response,

"Not a bean"

Now, whilst it is very unusual to find oneself solicited for alms by a fellow commuter on

public transport in Ireland (It is common on London transport, I witnessed), what was

especially unusual was her intonation.

"Have you got any change?" bore the emphasis on the 'you' as though it was a question as to

the health of my purse rather than the 'change' which usually implies your interlocutors'

desire to relieve you of its' weighty bepocketed burden.

So maybe she just wanted to make sure I was ok.

Maybe she was perturbed to hear I was so hard-up.

Maybe I am a bastard for painting such a horrid picture of her appearance above.

rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:34, 2 replies)

I found that
strangely poetic to read.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:41, closed)

Awww
I'd offer you change too sweetie!

:P
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:35, closed)