I once had a nightmare bus journey
Got on to go to work, sat in my usual seat, then after a few minutes I realised we wern't stopping. Bit weird. Then this dark haired bloke who talked like he had a minor stroke said woodenly: "There's a bomb on the bus! If we slow down it'll go off and we'll all die!"

Then this walking lump of dense oak proceeded to try and get in the knickers of the frazzled woman who - for some reason - ended up driving the bus.

It was pretty hairy, I can tell you, we even jumped over a big gap in this bridge - on a fucking bus!!! But eventually it all came to an end: I'd had so much of this whooooaaaa, dude cunt that I twatted him in the face with a seat I'd just ripped up and slammed on the handbreak.

The bus stopped. The bus exploded. 90% of the passengers died. I'm writing this from intensive care having broken every bone in my body. But at least I can die happy, knowing I saw that cunt Keanu's brains get splattered all over the interstate.
(Big Grant, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 16:03, Reply)