So Near, Yet So Far.
Sitting in the US Embassy in London, mid-2005, arrived as early as they open to get my visa, reading Danny Wallace's "Join Me" to pass the time, and quietly ranting to the other half about how I didn't like this book, and consequently didn't like Danny Wallace. I wanted to like it, but it just wasn't as entertaining as the books written by his friend, Dave Gorman.

I had a theory that Gorman's constant feeling like a fish out of water showed how little he was in control of the situation but his friendly nature found him friends, whereas Wallace's attempt was calculated and cold and he probably had a bit of an ego and wanted people to like him because he was naturally not as friendly, and even the parts that were unpredictable in Wallace's book still sounded, well, dull compared to the maverick decisions of Gorman and his accomplices. Wallace was a man trying to make up a farcical adventure for financial gain, because his friend had an entertaining adventure and therefore a story and therefore a book and eventually profit and he wanted in on that too.

Time passes and I see someone that looks famous sit down on the other side of the sea of sterile chairs. It can't be, can it? I feel uncomfortable possibly bothering him. However, the tannoy blared "Could a Mr. David Gorman please come back to Number 2, you have left your passport," and I knew it was him. He looked around, slightly miffed that his identity was shouted out, and harumphed himself back to the counter to grab his passport back. I waited a little while for him to sit back down, composed myself and went over to him.

"Hi, Dave. Thanks for your adventures, they gave me the drive to travel myself. And to look at other people with my name on Google."
"Oh! Hello! Thank you." He noticed the book, but still asked out of politeness, "What's that you've got there?"
"Oh, this?" I pouted, "I don't like it. Would it sound like a stalker if I said I wished I'd had your book on me so you could sign it?"
"Well, maybe, but let's see what I can do anyway." He ushered me to sit down and took the book from me and wrote an inscription anyway.

"To Danny Wallace, It is of the opinion of Mr. rzeki that I am better than you. Signed, Dave Gorman."

Gorman then told me that he had overheard my rant and was kind of disappointed in my opinion; that if I could hold him in high regard, then surely Gorman knew who good, friendly people were and would keep in close contact with them.

And with that, I realised I'd slagged off one of my favourite celebrity's best mates in earshot of said celebrity and his civilness and courtesy in lambasting me back made me look like even more of a prick.

On the other hand, I planned to write a book about getting ten celebrities in a row to read notes left for them in their books by other celebrities.

Length? I don't know, I didn't really feel compelled to finish.
(rzeki, Sat 10 Oct 2009, 22:13, 1 reply)

Yes
I'm completely in agreement with you about Wallace, there is something a little bit rum about him.
(LongTomBadTom Does Makes Says Thinks, Sun 11 Oct 2009, 11:40, closed)