Wankin' on the Radio
I used to do a radio show. Nothing like your big international famous radio announcer, oh no, not me. I was an announcer on a little community radio station in Brisbane, Australia (hint: rhymes with More Nipple Fred).

As a result of being a Friday afternoon announcer, I ended up meeting a few rockstar-type peoples who were in town to make loud noises on a stage for paying punters, or being led around by the floppy bits by some record label wankoff to promote something or other. Half the time I didn't care; half the time I was completely munted (there weren't any policies about on-air drunkenness or broadcasting under the influence of mind-bendy substances back in t'olden days).

So for a few of the celebrities that I have 'interviewed' (I use the term loosely, as someone promoting their album/live show while sitting opposite a drooling, drugfucked retard isn't really an interview) . . .

Jeff Martin of The Tea Party - was mainly concerned with showing off how 'spiritually aware' he was. Majorly into occult philosophy, but mainly used it to shag anything that moved.

Tim Wheeler of Ash - nice young chap. Genuinely enthusiastic about being on the radio. Answered every question except "So, did you manage to shag Charlotte Hatherley yet?"

Ben Harper - Didn't want to be there, didn't want to answer questions, didn't want to be on the radio. I went to a song, switched the mic off and said "You really don't want to be here, do you?" To which he replied, "No, I don't."
"Well, why did you come down here then?"
"Hey man, the record company organised this, not me."

Phil Jamieson of Grinspoon - complete fucking wanker. Monosyllabic grunts aren't really an answer to a question, retard.

Richie Lewis of Tumbleweed - Great guy. Answered every question with an essay's worth of words, then invited me to get stoned with him after the interview :)

Stone Gossard of Pearl Jam/Brad - This one took the cake. Gossard wandered into the studio, completely full of himself, then proceeded to bitch out all the other bands he was playing with off-mic during songs. Having had enough of this sort of behaviour, I surreptitiously turned his mic back on while he was in mid-rant, so that all of Brisbane could hear his opinion of "these stupid fuckin' shitty-ass bands that we're supposed to be playing with tonight".

Rock stars. Bah humbug.
(thanateros Does Not Play Well With Others, Tue 13 Oct 2009, 4:01, Reply)