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This is a question Cheap Tat

OneEyedMonster remindes us about the crap you can buy in pound shops: "Batteries that lasted about an hour and then died. A screwdriver with a loose handle so I couldn't turn the damn screw, and a tape measure which wasn't at all accurate."

Similarly, my neighbour bought a lawnmower from Argos that was so cheap the wheels didn't go round, it sort of skidded over the grass whilst gently back-combing it.

What's the cheapest, most useless crap you've bought?

(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 7:26)
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75p wine
csj's story reminded me...

Back in pre-Euro days circa 1997 a mate of mine and I did a 24 hour round trip from Cheshire to Calais in my shagged (but reliable) Austin Maestro. The ferry journey was a bargain 40 quid and we'd got a bit put aside to buy a load of wine and beer.

After filling the car up to near dangerous levels, we counted out our remaining shrapnel and had something like 16 francs left. We headed back into Citie Europe and spotted our prize - a bottle of "champagne" for 7.50FF. We bought two bottles and headed home.

Forgot all about them until we'd drunk all the decent stuff (sadly only about two days later if I remember right). We thought it'd be a laugh to give one a go.

We took off the metal wire holding the cork in which without any warning or input from us blew out like it had been fired from a cannon. This alone qualifies as it ripped straight through a polystyrene ceiling tile in my mate's rented lounge, providing a nice indoor nativity snowing scene and a £50 reduction in his returned deposit.

I have drunk some stupid shit in my time, including (accidentally whilst siphoning) petrol - nothing compared to this though. You couldn't physically even swallow the stuff because it made you wretch beforehand. We soon gave up and poured it down the sink.

Only to find the following morning the stainless steel sink now had a brown and totally unremoveable stain where this rancid acid based piss of satan had stuck to it. Fortunately went unnoticed by his landlord.

He gave the other bottle to his brother as a Christmas present who's chavvy wife seemed to manage it without ill effect. I guess the moral of the story is that if something seems to good a bargain to be true, then if you bought it you've no-one to blame but the dick you can see in the mirror!
(, Fri 4 Jan 2008, 12:07, 1 reply)
french wine
my now wife went to uni in france, i longingly remember 1.5 litres of white table wine for 6 francs, with a 1 franc return on the bottle, 1.5 ltrs of perfectly drinkable white for 50p oh how i enjoyed my time over there!
(, Wed 9 Jan 2008, 17:00, closed)

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