Dear Fucking God
I'm being lectured by Jermey Kyle:

"FOR GODS SAKE - THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!!"

You're 22 going on sixty. You probably haven't broken a law or taken a risk in your life. You're the twat who'll sit at 50 on the dual-carriageway "because it's the speed limit" and ignore the queue of traffic behind you.

I'll guess that you have few friends. There's a reason for that - you'll be incredibly boring to be around sitting in the pub, sipping on your half-pint of shandy. "Mustn't get drunk - that's against the law. A right and proper law that has been put there for our safety"

I can see you now, sitting at your window, binoculours in one hand, telephone in the other with your thumb over the speed-dial to the local nick. Watching, hoping for someone to drop some litter, park in a disabled spot.

You come across as a self-righteous prig. Sitting at your computer, using your fully-licensed software (Piracy is a crime!) lecturing me with with your wisdom gained over 22 years.

It's a good thing that homosexuality is legal now or you'd be off down the local nick to hand yourself in. After all, the law was there for reason wasn't it?

Jeremy. Get a life. Take some risks. Even break the law once in a while. It'll do you good. You could start small. Perhaps put some rubbish (the stuff you write about) into the non-recyclable bin and then scurry back to your flat heart pounding at your daring.

Love


P.S THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!!!!!
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Mon 7 Jan 2008, 23:50, Reply)