I used to have such a weird understanding of sex as a child...
Even as a youngster I had quite a scientific approach to understanding the world. As it turns out, my findings were entirely flawed, but the rigorous method was there at least...

As a young child, naturally I wasn't really told anything about sex. Despite this, I came to a number of conclusions. My earliest understanding of reproduction was based on what I knew about chickens. My mum taught me that eggs came from chickens, and that eggs could hatch into baby chickens. The connection to sex was not made at that point, but I was aware of a thing called 'sex', which from what I could gather was a fun adult activity. My conclusion was that women had babies spontaneously and regularly, as chickens lay eggs, and that sex was a game that adults played. I was quite happy in this bubble, confident I understood the complicated problem of human reproduction.

As I got older, I started learning about sex from school friends, who informed me that sex was required to have babies, and that sex was the insertion of a penis into a lady's...thing. A hole or something. No-one really knew what it was. I pondered the idea, and assumed that a girl's genitals would not be drastically unlike a boy's. I reasoned, therefore, that a girl's hole could be no larger in diameter than a boy's peehole. I began to get concerned at this prospect...how could a penis, many times thicker than the tube running down it, fit into a hole of comparable thickness as the inner tube. I thought more about the situation and noticed that, generally, couples who were expecting children often visited the hospital. At the ripe old age of around 10, my conclusion was that in order to have sex the man and woman went to hospital. In this event, the man's penis was split lengthways to reveal the tube, much like a straw, which could be inserted for the sexual act. I remember delivering my findings to my friends in the playground, and naturally met with disgust at the concept. For weeks we ruled out the prospect of ever having sex once we'd grown up, as we concluded that having our knobs chopped in half wasn't worth the hassle.

Eventually we had a proper sex education class at school and we saw exactly how it all works, but for a while I was quite freaked out by the prospect.
( guffguff fuckes your gradeds balls!, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 13:03, Reply)