I used to work with this bloke.
At first, you’d probably like him actually; he could be charming, keen to be everybody’s friend and always ready to deliver an amusing anecdote.

However, if you spent too long with him his uglier traits would soon reveal themselves. He was a racist, sexist, rabble rousing, brown-nosing bully who enjoyed nothing more than stirring up scandal and gossip designed to cause whichever victim he had his sights on as much grief as possible, while at the same time never allowing his smiley facade to drop.

And he smelled.

One particularly clammy and sweaty summer saw him instrumental in making a well liked and otherwise competent colleague leave, after a long campaign of making his life hell at every opportunity.

However, our poisonous, pungent friend neglected to guard his coffee mug properly when he was outside having a workshy smoke.

*trousers down*

*grab mug*

*wipe*

And repeat for the duration of colleague’s notice period.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 17 Sep 2009, 15:50, Reply)