The Wonder of Woollies
When I was younger and not involved in earning my keep I would go shopping with my mother so she would have someone to carry her heavy shopping bags. Unfortunately she had a habit of wandering off in large shops leaving me to trawl around the shop looking for her, seeing as she is only 4’10” this sometimes took awhile as she was easily able to inadvertently hide behind pushchairs and buggies. One day in Woolworths this had happened a couple of times and I was a bit fed up anyway. So I stopped dead in the middle of the aisle and shouted “Mammy” in my best window-licking voice. No reply. So I continued. “Mammy! I want my Mammy! Where are you Mammy?” Complete with Gurgling distressed noises and real tears (easy, just tug the hairs inside you nose).

By the time she returned to be greeted by a huge belming grin and “Look! It’s my Mammy! I love my Mammy and she loves me!” I had a large and sympathetic audience of old dears tutting hard enough to rival Skippy. At which point I picked her up and gave her a huge bearhug while continuing in the same vein. We left rather quickly. I was 23 and had a shaven head with a big beard and wearing bike leathers. It didn’t help though. Apparently she still wanders off in shops.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 18 Sep 2009, 10:23, 1 reply)

Good work that man !
Clicks!
( SpankyHanky, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 13:00, closed)