Now, I'm technically not an adult,
but I did this today and it was still fairly childish of me, so sod it.

It was the last day of third term today. We have four terms in Aus, and third is generally the least fun, because you get hit with piles of homework for each final year subject - revision for the exams at the very beginning of fourth term. Once those exams are over - you're freeeeeeeee.

Now, since it was the last day, I only had to be there for two classes, History, and English. History was fantastic, got some really good advice for our exams and help for our holiday homework, and then, we finished off the class with pizza. Now - this was GOOD pizza ladies and germs, it really was. Salt flaked crusts, lots of sauce, 'erbs, cheese.... nom.
So we're sitting there in History eating pizza for lunch.
And an announcement comes over the loudspeaker;

"Could all students from mr C's year 12 english class please go to class at 1:15"

Now - the thing you must know about my English teacher is that he is a short, angry man with a complex. It's true, it really is. And having been taught by this short, angry man with a complex that leads him to make snide remarks in every class for a whole year has not enamoured me towards him in the slightest.

Bugger that thought I. Class doesn't technically start until 1:45. I have a whole 45 minutes to go! I'm not giving up good pizza just to listen to a short angry man make snide remarks! So I sat in History eating my pizza until 1:30. Whereupon I left, and crossed the corridor and entered English, just starting on my lovely, crisp, juicy, crunchy Granny Smith Apple.

I sit down at the table directly infront of his desk, facing away from him, and began working on a practice paper. I bit into the apple, and started chomping away happily.

Behind me I can hear some very angry "hurrumph-ing" and "mutter mutter" and even a bit of the old "I-am-so-angry-I'm-going-to-passive-aggressively-keep-at-this-until-you-fold" business where people shift about and slam things.

So I open my mouth wide, and bite down on the Apple. And the crunch is louder then before. And then, I started to chew, as loudly as I possibly could. It was intense - I could feel the eyes boring into the back of my skull, nearly hear his blood pressure rising.
And it was SO worth it when, after throwing the core away in the bin, I returned to my desk to see his face, puce, thin-lipped and with a look that told me plainly that he knew as well as I did there was nothing he could have done.

Best part is, he doesn't mark my exam next term, so can't really exact revenge on me at all! XD
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 18 Sep 2009, 13:37, 1 reply)

Well executed use of an apple as an offensive weapon...
now that's not something you say everyday. Great post, love your writing style. clicks and handshakes all round. Cheers.
( SpankyHanky, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 13:59, closed)