Lying in the long grass
... in the park with my then married love interest, admiring the birds and bees and groping each other like teenagers, we were hidden behind a hedge next to a well trodden path.
Every time dog walkers and their hounds or families with children or couples having a romantic stroll would pass by on the other side of the hedge, we would stop our Carry On style giggling and goosing and wait until they passed by, as neither of us really wanted to be heard in the throes of passion, as it were. And the walkers often stopped to listen and express disgust at our obvious noises - though surely if they were that disgusted you would think they wouldn't stop to take notice.

My fella got fed up with the interruptions eventually, and decided to shame the walkers into moving on.

The next couple of voices we heard from the other side of the hedge - a couple of well to do ladies by the sound of it - heard us giggling and paused to listen, so my beau grabbed my rucksack and loudly and deliberately unzipped it - "Ziiiiiiiiiiipp !"
Then he uttered the cliched and immortal words in his best Kenneth Williams voice, "Oooooh, Matron !"

It sounded exactly like a trouser fly zip, and there was an audible gasp of and an outraged tut of "Really !" from the other side of the hedge.

I laughed so hard a little bit of wee wee came out.
(womanwhocanonlylivewithdogs, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 15:04, Reply)