smiley smiley
A little before Christmas the lads decided to give me a bit of a "leaving do" and we visited "Directors" wine bar in MK (90s sometime...). My mate paid for one of the scantily clad female entertainers to select me from the crowd and subject me to some humiliation on stage. This involved a marker pen and cigarettes... More of which later.

I finally crawled home at some stupid hour and fell into bed. I certainly wasn't 'well'. However my 5 year old son had other ideas and woke up with a bout of acute asthma which necessitated me sobering up at least a little in order that I might get a doctor to the house to help with this problem. On getting out of bed my wife was horrified to see the state of my backside (I'd not seen it.)and just told me to get out of the way. Propped up against the wardrobe when the doctor arrived, the doctor was concerned as to my welfare but was, understandably, more concerned with my son as my problem was entirely self inflicted.

A few days later it was the staff Christmas party at a hotel in Woburn Sands: "Moore Place". Word had got round the rest of the staff - all the women... The staff do was a murder mystery evening. Some 'wag' had tipped off the actors in the company putting on the event and to cut to the chase I ended up stood on a chair with my trousers and pants down just so everyone could see the smiley face on my backside (into which, apparently, a lit cigarette had been placed (between my bum cheeks), whilst on stage at Directors). At the end of the evening we were asked not to return to the hotel as we might have offended some of the the diners in the restaurant. I've never been allowed to forget it and I've never been allowed to go back to the strippers.
(gearanach #wankwankwank, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 22:27, Reply)