More Supermarket Madness
At Morrisons where I used to work they hang the bananas off plastic hooks, so you end up with a big 'wall' of bananas for the customers to choose from (anyone who's shopped there will know what I mean). One day I was behind this 'wall' in what we called the 'backup' where all the wastage, re-wrapping etc goes on.
Customer (from outside): "'scuse me, have you got any bananas?"
Me (most sarcastic reply I can think of, thinking he must be having a laugh): "no mate, they're all sold out"
Him: "Eh? All gone? At this time?"
Me: "You mean the yellow ones? Loose?"
Him: "Yeah."
Me: "You mean those things in front of your face?"

He then muttered a few expletives and quickly walked away. Almost as good was the old bloke who came up and said (what I thought was) "Have you got five bananas?". So I found a bunch with five bananas on it. "There you are, sir." He hands them back, saying they're not right, they're not five bananas. I pick up another one and count them, one, two, three four, five. "Five bananas." "No, no, five." I'm confused by now. "There's five bananas there, sir." "Yes, I know how many there are", came the reply, but I want five bananas". Suddenly it clicks. He's asking for FYFFE bananas.

We didn't have any. We had mountains of windward island ones but they weren't good enough for him. So he got no bananas.

If I may go on, here's another one. Working at another supermarket where you can put your produce on a scale and it automatically prints a ticket after you press a button with the name of the item and a picture on it, a bloke comes up to me and says "we've been charged £1.80 a kilo for these bananas, when it says 98p a kilo over there." He'd pressed the button for plaintain (looks like a banana, but isn't), which we hardly ever sell and so warrants only a tiny button, missing BANANAS, the biggest selling line in the store, which has a great big eff-off button all to itself. I explain this. "That's bloody confusing that is, they ought to get it changed", says the silly old git.

And that's just the bananas. Don't get me started on the grapes...
(fourplusone, Mon 29 Dec 2003, 22:58, Reply)